


F4233

by bookoftheazuresky



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 12:25:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3850879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookoftheazuresky/pseuds/bookoftheazuresky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Julius knows better than most that a fractured dimension is just a warped mirror of the prime dimension. Even so, that doesn't stop him from envying that reflection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	F4233

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank tumblr user matou-sakura, without whose beneficent guidance I would not have been introduced to Kresnik hell. She also helped me with the editing and whatnot.
> 
> Julius is 20 here and has just been made Vice-President. Prime Ludger is 12.

Julius considered the door to his apartment with some trepidation. His preliminary investigations on the nature of this fractured dimension’s divergence catalyst had borne no fruit; the dimension itself was not wildly different from his own, but the catalyst seemed to be in Trigleph somewhere. This put his usual method of killing people until the dimension went away somewhere on the bottom of the list of alternatives- while Julius was very sturdy with his Chromatus activated, he didn’t want to fight through waves of law enforcement or even Spirius agents from this world.

So, he had to turn to other means. Julius’ own experience and that of other agents he had spoken to bore out that divergence catalysts tended to appear in the families and friends of Chromatus users. Reality around those who had been “blessed” by Chronos was pockmarked with fissures, as if even in dimensions where the power wasn’t being used it contorted space and time around itself. Therefore, Julius had found himself outside the apartment he shared with Ludger in his own world, turning his key over in his hand.

His mouth twisted with derision at his own hesitation. He’d been doing this for nearly a decade, after all. He’d killed so many people that he had lost count of the number: people that he’d known, people that didn’t exist, and even fractured versions of his own brother. At this point, it should be easier.

He finally pushed his key into the lock, slightly amused despite himself that it fit perfectly, and opened the door. He stepped through the entry way, automatically scanning the room for occupants. Julius registered a surprised sound from the kitchen and tensed up, his hand automatically dropping to the hilt of one of his swords. A woman stepped out from around the partition dividing the entrance from the kitchen, her hand wrapped loosely around a vegetable knife.

“Julius, welcome home! I didn’t think you were supposed to be back for two days yet!” Her face, damningly familiar, began to morph from pleasant surprise to alarm. He’d dreamed about that expression for years, of her blue eyes widening with terror as she realized who he was. The hand on his blade tightened, her words not even registering in the moment.

“What happened to your face?!” That did register. Julius’ hand rose automatically to touch the bandage on his left eye. Her eyes filled with concern.

“You should sit.” She made a gesture at the table with the hand holding the knife, then seemed to realize what was in her hand. She made a face, then stepped back behind the partition. Julius, tracking her movements automatically, despite the lack of coherent thoughts in his head, heard the clatter as she set it on the counter. She walked briskly back into his field of vision, her bare feet silent on the tiled floor.

Instinct said to get his blade up, but memories of her face slackening into blankness while her son screamed held him paralyzed. He’d been so much more innocent seven years ago, innocent enough that her death had clung to his nightmares with a persistence nearly unmatched within all of his bloody memories. Or perhaps it had simply been that her death was unnecessary, where all of his others had been ordered.  
Whatever it was, it allowed Claudia Il Kresnik, Ludger’s mother, to get close enough to grab his wrist and pull him to the table.

~

Once he was sitting down, some of his volition returned. He made a protesting noise as she removed his glasses, but her firm hand on his shoulder kept him in his seat. Even without his glasses, at this distance she was clear. 

Julius couldn’t help but compare her to Ludger’s twelve year old face. She had the same pointed chin, the same blue eyes with a ring of yellow, but her nose was more delicate. Her hair was two shades blonder than Julius’ hair, lighter than his mother’s, and she had a lithe, compact frame. She was wearing a battered pair of gray jeans and a shirt advertising “Merry Maids: Trigleph’s best cleaners.” She looked both older than Julius remembered and younger, her face not marked with anger and fear.

During his inspection, Claudia had been conducting one of her own, frowning at the bandages that had left him half blind. She ran her fingers over the upper edges, just below his hairline. “What happened?” she asked again.

“Just an accident,” Julius managed. It was hard to talk to her, especially when she was making such a concerned face at him. No, not at him, at this dimension’s Julius, who was clearly not responsible for her death.  
“Bullshit,” she declared. Now she stood up, crossing her arms and looking down at him. “Which was it, one of Bisely’s hush-hush missions, or that ferret Rideaux?”

Julius knew his expression was one of unflattering surprise, but he couldn’t seem to help it. She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why you even try anymore.”

Julius looked down. It had been Rideaux. He had known what he was getting into when he agreed to spar with the other agent, but he did it regularly anyway. What he had failed to take into account this time was his recent appointment to Director of the Department of Dimensional Affairs. It was just like Rideaux to sabotage him to get ahead in their little competition, particularly since Julius had just gotten a “reward” of sorts. But this promotion was just another way for Bisely to keep a hold on a son who didn’t quite convince his father of his loyalty. Rideaux hadn’t managed to blind him permanently, but his knives would definitely leave a scar.

He started when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I’m glad you came back early instead of sticking it out. What would I do without my favorite nephew?”

He couldn’t help it; he hugged her back. Julius knew better than most how bitter it was to lose himself in what-ifs, but the temptation had never been worse than now, with a long-dead woman embracing him.

She squeezed, and then let go. “Ludger is going to be so worried about you when he comes back. He hates it when you get hurt.”

“He’s still at school?” Julius asked, only somewhat grateful for the change in subject. Claudia couldn’t be the divergence catalyst, since she had been in physical contact with him without any signs of a transformation. He’d definitely found this reality’s point of divergence, though, which meant that this could be another dimension in which his brother was the catalyst. As if one hadn’t been more than enough.

“Yup.” Claudia turned back to the kitchen, picking up the knife again. She started cutting potatoes, which was what she had presumably been doing before. “Speaking of, since you’re back, would you pick him up from the station? It should be…” she shot a glance at the clock, “about 20 minutes.”

“Sure.” If Ludger was the catalyst, the least he could do was keep this ordeal out of his mother’s sight.

Claudia continued slicing potatoes, brushing the finished chunks into a pile with already cut carrots. Julius watched, his mind guiltily supplying images of Ludger as a child, living with his mother, watching her cook dinner.

“I’m sorry.” Julius blinked out of his half trance, unsure over whether or not she had spoken or his thoughts had spoken for her.

“For what?” Julius asked, puzzled at the non sequitur.

She glanced back at him, then went back to chopping. “That you have to work for him.” She continued on while Julius blinked at her, “You shouldn’t have had to go back to him. The way he used Cornelia, the way he uses you…I should never have let myself forget the kind of person he was. But you and Ludger get to pay for my mistakes.”

“I would have gone back anyway.” She turned back to him, surprised. Julius kept talking, though whether it was for himself or for her he didn’t know. “It’s not like I have the skills for anything else. And Bisely is too complacent to think that there’s anything in my life worth hiding. If I had run away, he would have wondered why.” Julius living with his mother’s relatives was one thing. Julius disappearing was entirely another. Bisely might not care for him as a person, but as a successor, an extension of his legacy, and as a Chromatus bearer, Julius was too valuable to vanish.

“You’re sweet,” she said, her expression softening. She glanced at the clock. “It’s about time for Ludger to get in.”

Julius stood up, thankful for the opportunity to get away. “Right.” He moved towards the door. As his hand landed on the knob, she called, “Be safe.”

“I’ll be back soon,” Julius managed to force out. As he left, he fought down the desire to just run away. His steps, he was grateful, remained as unhurried as ever.

~

Walking to the station was the same as if Julius had been home. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to bask in the familiarity of it to calm his shattered nerves (he was such a monster) or if that comfort was just another reason to feel guilt.

He’s always felt guilty for taking Ludger’s mother away from him. He didn’t even have the justification of Origin’s Trial for killing her, just the fact that he hadn’t been skilled enough at 13 to stop her without her ending up dead. With all the skills that had been graven into his bones, mercy should have been easier. But all of his training up to that point had been in keeping fights as short as possible to compensate for the fact that a child could die so much more easily than an adult agent. Instead, it had been all too easy to succumb to the instinct that told him to put his opponent down as hard and as fast as he could. He’d already had too much blood on his hands at that point, but Claudia’s was what stuck with him.

He hadn’t even had the decency to tell her father how she had died. Already an accomplished liar, Julius had spun the story that he’d merely arrived at the scene too late, and Marvin had been all too willing to listen to his grandson. The truth was that he’d taken Claudia’s child because he was too weak and corrupt to live without someone depending on him. He hadn’t even had the decency to love Ludger until his brother had hurt himself trying to help him.

The worst thing though was that his aunt had reminded him so much of his own mother, of his blurry memories of her love before she was taken away. He was so pathetic. He’d taken Ludger’s mother away from him and the only thing that he could think about was that she…

Julius forcibly shook his thoughts away. No, the only thing he should be thinking about was the divergence catalyst. The sooner he could find it, the sooner he could get back to his Ludger, the one he had sworn to keep safe. None of this reality mattered. That was the first thing a Chromatus user learned: that the dimensions they went to were just warped mirrors that replaced what was with what might be. Just reflections of the prime dimension. And the prime Ludger, the real Ludger, was waiting for him. The real Claudia would have wanted Julius to make sure her son was safe. And so he would.

Julius looked up. And then cursed himself for a damned fool. 

~

His fractured double stared back at him from the station’s waiting area. Apparently, the Julius from this world had, in fact, gotten off early. He’d also gone directly to the station to pick up his little brother on his way home from school. The alternate Julius’ face had gone dead white. If this Julius also worked for Spirius, then he would know exactly what his prime self was there for.

The only mercy in this situation was that this Julius’ little brother wasn’t here yet.

As he thought that, the other man went for his blades. Julius managed to get his own twin swords out to meet his charge, ignoring the screams that erupted from the crowd hanging about the platform. He was going to have to be careful; he was fighting half blind. It wouldn’t matter so much in his Chromatus transformation, but he was going to have to survive long enough to pull his watch.

His unbandaged eye met its mirror over the crossed blades. The other Julius looked frantic; the same expression, his treacherous mind provided, that had been on his aunt’s face when she had attacked him. Then, to his traitorous relief, a scarlet film bloomed over those eyes, trailing jagged slashes of darkness across his cheeks and dying his double’s hair black.

I’m so relieved, he though distantly, it wasn’t Ludger after all. Then instinct took over and he twisted to disengage. The catalyst followed suit.

Fighting himself, Julius discovered, was not very fun. His fractured self was just as fast, just as skilled. His onslaught meant that Julius had no time to grasp his watch, undoubtedly his double’s plan. His own stamina was not endless, and without his spear he couldn’t strike the final blow. He was distantly aware of the people still scattering away from the fight, escaping as Julius ducked behind a column to gain a bare instant’s defense from a blade. He heard the next set of trains pulling into the station and renewed his attack; people would be getting off and he needed to stay in close to keep from being distracted.

“JULIUS!” he heard Ludger scream. Both he and the catalyst started, automatically disengaging to look for their brother. His wild look swung to catch those familiar blue eyes. Looking at him, not at his own brother; at the man he thought he recognized. But now Julius had a second to palm his Chromatus.

He didn’t have time to pull his brother’s watch. Even as he did it, the other Julius was recovering, his face twisting when he realized that to Ludger his current self was all but unrecognizable; the one who was trying to destroy their entire world was his beloved brother. A mere second, but it was enough.

Julius slammed his spear through his double’s heart, and the dimension shattered.

~

“Julius! Welcome home!” He heard his little brother’s exuberant greeting as he walked through the door.

“I’m home,” he answered tiredly. His heart lifted at the sound of Ludger’s cheerful and unconcerned voice.

“I was thinking of making curry! How does that sound?” Julius walked around the partition to see Ludger standing on his official cooking stool, a frying pan filled with carrots and potatoes at his elbow.

“What, no tomatoes?” Julius asked, relaxing into the familiar sight.

“You’re such a tease,” Ludger said, pouting. He turned around. His familiar eyes immediately went alarmed.

“What happened to your face?!” 

Julius froze, ice darting into the marrow of his bones and filling his lungs.

“Julius?” Ludger asked, his youthful face full of concern. He was, Julius thought, almost the same age as Julius when Julius had killed his mother.

“Don’t worry. It was just an accident.”


End file.
